Spiritual Kink

Baring it all before the mirror, as dawn softly puckered my skin, I was able to see myself clearly for the first time. And for the first time, I began to fall in love with myself. For the first time, I was more than enough. This is the story behind #MorningCoffee. These are the roots the Beast Goddess has blossomed from.

Like a Phoenix, I rose up from the ashes of the past life I had burnt to the ground. My wings stretched wider and beat stronger than ever before. Subconsciously, I grew to associate my newfound confidence and rebirth with a spiritual level of BDSM.

Welcome to the world of #MorningCoffee. Welcome to Spiritual Kink.

let’s make some magic together
follow your heart

thebeastxgoddess

fine art tasteful kink boudoir modelographer.
for bookings & rates, 📩
part-time time temptress.
submissive feminist. 💋
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curator of #MorningCoffee
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Moved into a new apartment, and for the first time Moved into a new apartment, and for the first time living in Stockholm, I finally feel at home. 💕

Two balconies - one for the morning sun & one for the evening sun, eclectic furniture and decorations, and rooms filled with so many plants. 🌱 

Finally, I can breathe. I can transition from surviving to thriving. 

Moving around every couple of months for so long has been a direct reflection of the state of my root chakra - survival, home, stability, and our basic needs being met. Er, or in my case, my basic needs not being met. 

The life of the nomad is an appealing one on the surface, but for so long I've been craving a place to call home. 💕 

Despite that craving being met, still I've found myself running around the city to stay busy. I haven't given myself permission to settle in. 

That "permission" came in the form of catching a cold, and being forced into submission by the Universe. 

While there is one piece of mental toughness that focuses on grabbing life by the horns and meeting challenges head-on, we need to face our rest with the same stubborn mentality - prioritizing intentional recovery before being pushed into recovery mode in the form of illness or injury. 

I'm taking time each day to remember that it's okay to slow down. Even and especially when the world is running around on hamster wheels around you. 

Because, pssst... Here's the thing. When you keep running on the hamster wheel, you're not moving forward. 

Here's your permission slip to slam on the brakes today. 🌷

#lacelaboratory
“Send me more noodz.” 🖤 It’s times like t “Send me more noodz.”
🖤
It’s times like these when I wonder where Mr Stockholm stands on my creative process. 🖤
A) Impatience. “Why can’t she just be normal for one second, and send me crappy phone pics?!” 🖤
B) Grateful. “Gosh, I am so darn lucky to be on the receiving end of such personal art. Best noodz EVER!” 🖤
I have a feeling it’s “All of the Above,” but he’s probably too proud to ever admit any semblance of feeling lucky when it comes to any female in his life. 😜
🖤
#thebeastgoddess
I was up until 1am writing a letter to you. This t I was up until 1am writing a letter to you. This time, I hit Send. -
The last few days have been a conflicting whirlwind of emotions, rooted in wounds that sit in communication. Because you’re away, and I can’t communicate. -
I’ve written page after page of all the hurt that has been weighing on my heart. But last night, tired AF after crying my eyes out for a good chunk of time, I chose to take a deep breath and start over from scratch. To write from my heart, from a place of love... instead of fear. -
The fear of losing you because I keep leaving on adventures, the fear that you’ll decide we can’t weave our two unconventional lives together in creative ways. The fear you’ll choose someone more normal and predictable. Even though when you’re gone on your adventures, I choose you and I wait for you. Even and especially when you’re away, I choose you. -
Why can’t I trust that you might do the same? -
It’s in this letter that I finally told you that I love you. I haven’t strung those words together, but I’ve said it in a million different ways. Every time I tell you how much I care, every time I look into your eyes, every time I touch you... - 
Because I know the state of your heart. I know you’ve locked it away, out of my reach. Wounded by others, so that I don’t have a chance. But I’ve kept loving you, knowing that it might always be a one way street. -
It’s a letter to you, but it’s a letter to me. It’s taking the responsibility to honor the words that have been waiting to tumble from my heart. I’ve tried the silencer, and it only backfires, creating tension that you don’t understand. -
The words are sent, and now... I wait. It’s another one of those times when I take a risk, with no idea of the outcome. I don’t know what you’ll think, what you’ll feel, what you’ll say. I don’t know if this is the end or a new beginning to the adventure of a lifetime. -
But at least, now, my heart has had a say.
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📸 unedited shot of @primalrevolutions frolicking in the Swedish wilderness
I’m struggling HARD to translate thoughts and ex I’m struggling HARD to translate thoughts and experiences and memories into words. I keep trying to write something inspiring, and I keep hitting a wall. So maybe what I need is to write about how hard it feels to write. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Two days ago, I returned from Italy. This photo was from a year ago, also in Italy. But the experiences couldn’t have been more different. 
Last year, I was in Torino, and I enjoyed Italy so little that I chose to apply to Sweden for a work visa instead. That was my deadline to make a decision between the two countries, and for some reason, I chose the most polluted city in Italy as my measuring stick. 🤦🏼‍♀️ “Some reason” was the fact that I saw photos of Torino stacked up against the Alps, and I thought that surely it would feel close to nature. But, well, it didn’t.

This time, I spent time in Toscana & Molise... Molise was interesting, considering that Italians joke that the second smallest region doesn’t actually exist. 
But Toscana stole my heart, just as it stole my heart the first time in 2011. I designed an independent study for college, backpacking Europe and photographing architecture. Firenze was my favorite city of all, but I actually lost most of my images from that segment of my trip. 
8 years later, I returned to take more beautiful photos than ever, and eager to show my mom the Italy I fell in love with. 
Many more images and stories to come, from the region of rolling hills that stole my heart. ❤️ #morningcoffee
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